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How Do I Talk to My Parents About Estate Planning?

Elder law
If you have a parent over the age of, say, 65, thoughts about their future may have started to creep into your mind. But because end-of-life planning can be emotional and overwhelming, it’s tempting to put these conversations off — and even more pleasing to avoid them altogether. If there’s a lesson to be learned from the pandemic, however, it’s that waiting until the last minute to prepare is seldom a good idea.

Failing to draft an estate plan can mean a pair of obstacles when a parent dies. First, it can leave you scrambling to unravel their financial picture while trying to grieve. Second, it can be expensive.

MarketWatch’s recent article entitled “It’s easy to put it off, but here’s why you should talk to your parents about estate planning, and how to start the conversation” says that a wise way to avoid both scenarios is to begin talking with your parents about estate planning. While this can sound like a job just for the uber-rich, it is really an essential process that ensures clear directives exist for all sorts of situations that accompany the end of life.

An estate plan is a chance to set mindful intentions about life’s inevitabilities.  It is, therefore, a great idea to ask your parents to take account of their assets and belongings. This is not just about the numbers and paperwork—it is a chance to gauge preparedness.

Start by asking your parent(s) the following:

  • Who do you want as your primary caregiver?
  • How will we pay for health care expenses?
  • What are your medical care preferences?
  • Which of us should make medical decisions on your behalf?
  • How should we handle your property when you die?
  • Do you have any valuable items that you want to be handled in a special way?
  • Where are your most important documents and do we have access to all of your digital records?

Inheritance often require probate. However, if the right legal documents are in place, it can be a relatively quick and painless process. When someone dies intestate (without a will), it can sticky and get tricky. Understand that the state has its own rules for dying without a will. Depending on the situation, you might need to hire a probate attorney because there will be legal proceedings. Therefore, make certain that your parents have a will and that beneficiaries are clearly stated in all policies and documents. It is a preventative measure that can pay dividends.

Remember that when wealth is transferred (or assets are passed from one person to another), taxes are often inevitable. Work with an experienced estate planning attorney to minimize liability.

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